Five-a-side

like, y'know, crafty stuff, exercise, walking, gardening...
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humblebee
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Five-a-side

Post by humblebee » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:18 pm

After work today I am off to play five-a-side football. This will be the first time I've done anything remotely exercisey in about 20 years.

Reassure me, Anorak. Also give me tips and hints for how not to get too broken.

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Trev
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Re: Five-a-side

Post by Trev » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:23 pm

humblebee wrote: Also give me tips and hints for how not to get too broken.
Skip the 5 aside bit and go straight to the pub. That's my tip.
not really here

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Re: Five-a-side

Post by darvé » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:30 pm

Pete, DON'T DO IT.

I played an 8 minute game at the Bowlie ATP a year or so ago. On a team with Ian and Andy Pocketbooks and a couple of others. The first couple of minutes were fine, then i started seeing stars in front of my face and my chest got very heavy. The last half was essentially a massive blur and i did all i could not to collapse.. Not helped at all when Sean Price is trying to offer encouragement from the sidelines 'track back, track back' 'Run Forbes, run'

I think we lost 3-1, it may have been more though.. I definitely felt like i let the team down.

Went back to the chalet afterwards for some sympathy but Clare was more interested in rushing out to see Daniel Kitson play in the next game, women are so shallow.

What i'm trying to say is, DON'T DO IT.
and that snare drum, that drum roll
means we've got a winner

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tonieee
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Re: Five-a-side

Post by tonieee » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:31 pm

Trev wrote:
humblebee wrote: Also give me tips and hints for how not to get too broken.
Skip the 5 aside bit and go straight to the pub. That's my tip.
I agree. You may still get broken but at least you'll have had some beer!

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Re: Five-a-side

Post by a layer of chips » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:33 pm

It'll kill you, pete. You never stop running. It's horrible. And there's always some little shite who thinks he's dave gilbert.

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humblebee
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Re: Five-a-side

Post by humblebee » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:43 pm

What you're supposed to say is things like "do plenty of stretching before", "don't try and cover the whole pitch" and "spend five minutes warming down afterwards".

And "go to the pub". Oh, you did. Cheers.

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Re: Five-a-side

Post by leon » Wed Feb 29, 2012 4:09 pm

Play as a sweeper. Much less running and you get to tell everyone else what to do.

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Re: Five-a-side

Post by Damian » Wed Feb 29, 2012 4:49 pm

It's knackering.
I'd suggest going in goal if you can throw at all, it'll save on running about like.
I dunno what else really, I used to play 5 a side at uni with a cigarette in my mouth for much of it, so I doubt I can give you any tips really. Don't kick the ball too high - that's my ultimate advice.

Seriously though it is dead tiring, but it's also a lot of fun, and that pint or two afterwards will be even more enjoyable.

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Re: Five-a-side

Post by humblebee » Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:34 am

I'm still alive!

This is due, I suspect to the three pints of Landlord I necked immediately after the game. I recommend the same careful warm-down routine to all professional sportsmen and women throughout the world.

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Re: Five-a-side

Post by a layer of chips » Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:45 am

That's where I'm going wrong. I usually get pissed before the game.

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Re: Five-a-side

Post by tonieee » Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:51 am

If you were doing it right it would be before, during and after. Or, for the truly advanced, instead of.

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