Who else loves Bill's Food
Bill is a fabulously camp and monumentally self-satisfied Australian who makes rubbish piddly fiddly little dishes that are supposed to be 'sophisticated' food 'for special occasions' but would have been laughed out of any decent western European restaurant at any time over the past 20 years and cooks with a permanent shit-eating gurn on his smug smackable face. His show is completely brilliant.
It comes on the BBC on Saturday mornings and it's the most unintentionally funny programme I've ever seen. There are the soaringly pretentious names he gives to his dishes, where he fries some quail breasts, indoors, in a frying pan, without a barbecue anywhere in sight, and calls them "barbecued quail breasts". There are his cheesy bastard asides like "A little more sugar, I think. Let's give something sweet to the ladies!" There are compelling anecdotes from his exciting and controversial life story, where he tells you about the times he and his friend used to skip classes all the time at university and sit in a café drinking lemonade
. And there are his glorious self-congratulatory interjections to camera, where he looks up from a half-mixed chocolate pudding, widens his already agonising grin, and says: "This recipe is soooo good. You just have to dip your finger in at every stage!"
I've never really understood the modern tendency to watch bad TV that you know is bad and has no redeeming features at all, you know, like Hollyoaks, and 'reality' shows (I think people just watch it so they can say they've watched it, because they think it sounds cool). But Bill's Food is different. It's great entertainment. If someone had written and filmed it as a calculated spoof it couldn't have been more effective.