Pithy observations about TV

films, telly, wireless

Moderator: quaycur

Post Reply
User avatar
humblebee
Posts: 10543
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 16:33
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/atomicbeatboy
Location: Sheffields
Contact:

Pithy observations about TV

Post by humblebee » Mon Nov 12, 2007 16:34

What happened to the TV Quick thread? I liked that!

How is it that you know a BBC trailer will be for a new Stephen Poliakoff film just from the reverential tone of the voiceover? And why is a new Stephen Poliakoff film never just a new Stephen Poliakoff film but "a major new film from the award-winning Stephen Poliakoff"?

User avatar
humblebee
Posts: 10543
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 16:33
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/atomicbeatboy
Location: Sheffields
Contact:

Post by humblebee » Mon Nov 19, 2007 21:31

Here's another one then.

What bothers me most about Dragons' Den isn't the 'dragons' (I actually like it that there's a whole programme dedicated to showing up capitalists as the charmless wazzocks they are). No, it's the total lack of self-respect of the people who go in begging for money. Just going on the show to kiss ass and beg is abject enough, but it's completely disturbing how they stay like that even when the 'dragons' are clearly not interested.

So the 'dragon' says: "Your idea is pathetic. You're pathetic. I wouldn't wipe my arse on your sorry excuse for a life. Your house will be repossessed because your shit invention will fail and your wife and daughters will become crack whores. And I will laugh."

And then the contestant just snivels a bit more and says: "OK. Thankyou. I mean thankyou sir."

Alright, it's not pithy. But it's an observation. And it's about TV.
Last edited by humblebee on Mon Nov 19, 2007 21:51, edited 1 time in total.

islandhopper
Posts: 3441
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 00:44
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/mi-fhein
Location: I belong to Glasgow

Post by islandhopper » Mon Nov 19, 2007 21:46

Omid Djalili really needs to stop telling us he's Iranian. I heard him the first time (maybe 3-4 years ago) and I didn't really care all that much then.

a layer of chips
Posts: 18616
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 09:17
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/
Location: Nottingham, UK
Contact:

Post by a layer of chips » Tue Nov 20, 2007 08:07

Fucking hell, yeah. I HATE him.

Anonymous

Post by Anonymous » Tue Nov 20, 2007 09:18

racist!

Anonymous

Post by Anonymous » Tue Nov 20, 2007 15:19

has anybody ever seen the eggheads lose on that irritatingly smug programme?

and their questions are always easier aren't they? and the challengers are primed to answer every question by going thru' all the options to add some much lacking tension, innit?

and dermot murnaghan is the second most annoying dermot on tv- are there any likeable dermots in the world?

eggheads? shitheads, morelike (pithy)

User avatar
Miss Anna
Posts: 427
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 18:37
Location: Birmingham

Post by Miss Anna » Tue Nov 20, 2007 20:37

They seem to think not only do we care about the answer the Eggheads give, but would also be grateful for some context and further information about why it's the right answer, such as election statistics or sometimes a favoured vegetable. I don't know why they do that.
"Look at all this, indiepop, what are they playing at? Fucking biscuits. Fucking colouring-in."

Anonymous

Post by Anonymous » Tue Nov 20, 2007 23:32

yeh! they do do that... like dermo will ask 'which of these ronnie's starred in porridge: a. barker, b. hazelhurst, c. rosenthal, d. spector?' having just asked five hairdressers from rhyll what the denisty of uranus is multiplied by pi minus my national insurance number and then the egghead will look all concerned and say 'well, I know it's not rosenthal becasue I play golf with him, spector... it just doesn't sound right... it's like a bond villain... hazelhurst? hazelhurst? what has a hazelhurst in every bite? no, it can't be hazelhurst... is it spector? hmm... oh, hang on, yes, of course... I'm going to plump for barker... I remember a lovely anecdote I once heard about dame edith evans, it was ned sherrin that told me... and, yes, we were in ronnie barker's antiques shop at the time... that's right, and ronnie said how clever I was and I said and you used to be in porridge and I bought a vase... it's ronnie barker, dermot'

to which dermot shakes his head, smiles wryly and says 'unbelieveable, expert forensic detection there... those eggheads... will anyone ever beat them?' to which a nation of teas of their lap eaters cry as one 'oh do fuck off, dermot, of course no-one will ever beat them... the whole bastard things fixed!'

Dan Pop-o-matic
Posts: 2036
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 13:40
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/DanPopomatic
Location: Sheffields

Post by Dan Pop-o-matic » Wed Nov 21, 2007 20:45

I Hate You! wrote:yeh! they do do that... like dermo will ask 'which of these ronnie's starred in porridge: a. barker, b. hazelhurst, c. rosenthal, d. spector?' having just asked five hairdressers from rhyll what the denisty of uranus is multiplied by pi minus my national insurance number and then the egghead will look all concerned and say 'well, I know it's not rosenthal becasue I play golf with him, spector... it just doesn't sound right... it's like a bond villain... hazelhurst? hazelhurst? what has a hazelhurst in every bite? no, it can't be hazelhurst... is it spector? hmm... oh, hang on, yes, of course... I'm going to plump for barker... I remember a lovely anecdote I once heard about dame edith evans, it was ned sherrin that told me... and, yes, we were in ronnie barker's antiques shop at the time... that's right, and ronnie said how clever I was and I said and you used to be in porridge and I bought a vase... it's ronnie barker, dermot'

to which dermot shakes his head, smiles wryly and says 'unbelieveable, expert forensic detection there... those eggheads... will anyone ever beat them?' to which a nation of teas of their lap eaters cry as one 'oh do fuck off, dermot, of course no-one will ever beat them... the whole bastard things fixed!'
They've just lost twice in two days. I reckon Dermot Whats-his-face reads these forums...

a layer of chips
Posts: 18616
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 09:17
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/
Location: Nottingham, UK
Contact:

Post by a layer of chips » Thu Nov 22, 2007 08:11

Anyone see 'Watching the Russians with Stella Rimmington' last night?

I kept flicking over to it whilst stifling laughter at the England match. That village in the north-east - Chopwell, or whatever it was called - was fascinating.

roobee
Posts: 396
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2007 21:43

Post by roobee » Thu Nov 22, 2007 08:51

I watched that - it was pretty good. I might have a nosy at that Chopwell place when I'm down in Newcastle next week. I like the old guy in the East End who talked about the siege at Sidney Street - who was he? I was making a cup of tea when he first appeared.

a layer of chips
Posts: 18616
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 09:17
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/
Location: Nottingham, UK
Contact:

Post by a layer of chips » Thu Nov 22, 2007 08:53

He was an East End historian. A professor at some place or other.

Stella Rimmington's a vile bugger.

roobee
Posts: 396
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2007 21:43

Post by roobee » Thu Nov 22, 2007 08:58

She does have a lovely range of pastel twin sets though.

User avatar
kingofpartick
Posts: 631
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2007 17:26
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/
Location: Glasgow

Post by kingofpartick » Thu Nov 29, 2007 23:35

those Post Office adverts are just not realistic. If it was real, the Post Office would have been closed down by now and moved to the nearest supermarket.
I remember when all this was fields

Elvistears
Posts: 1123
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 13:26
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/elvistears
Location: Glasgow

Post by Elvistears » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:03

The people's fucking post office? IT ISN'T GOING TO WORK, NOBODY IS GOING TO BELIEVE YOU!! The Westlife ad is pretty bizarre isn't it? Nicky has lovely teeth, though.

Elvistears
Posts: 1123
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 13:26
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/elvistears
Location: Glasgow

Post by Elvistears » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:03

That wasn't very pithy. Sorry.

User avatar
humblebee
Posts: 10543
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 16:33
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/atomicbeatboy
Location: Sheffields
Contact:

Post by humblebee » Thu Dec 06, 2007 15:53

There are always at least two channels on cable TV showing repeats of Coast and Ray Mears' Bushcraft.

User avatar
Big Nose
Posts: 1289
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 09:27

Post by Big Nose » Thu Dec 06, 2007 16:25

humblebee wrote:There are always at least two channels on cable TV showing repeats of Coast and Ray Mears' Bushcraft.

On the upside, I am now confident enough with my own shelter building, fire lighting and foraging techniques to begin my epic and much postponed epic jaunt around the UK coastline. Although I always miss the episode of Coast that covers East Anglia. I do fancy Alice Roberts too.

User avatar
humblebee
Posts: 10543
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 16:33
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/atomicbeatboy
Location: Sheffields
Contact:

Post by humblebee » Thu Dec 06, 2007 16:29

Big Nose wrote:I do fancy Alice Roberts too.
Too late. I fancied her first!

User avatar
Colin
Posts: 1834
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 23:56
Last.fm: http://www.last.fm/user/colinbmx
Location: Glasgow
Contact:

Post by Colin » Thu Dec 06, 2007 16:55

Anonymous wrote:has anybody ever seen the eggheads lose on that irritatingly smug programme?

and their questions are always easier aren't they? and the challengers are primed to answer every question by going thru' all the options to add some much lacking tension, innit?

and dermot murnaghan is the second most annoying dermot on tv- are there any likeable dermots in the world?

eggheads? shitheads, morelike (pithy)
My dad's partner's son was on Eggheads the other week. He was also called Colin and wore a green shirt and a had a beard. Anyone see it? I think he did okay, he beat the egghead in the little head-to-head bit but the team lost overall.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Magpie [Crawler] and 1 guest