Filano of the day

recipes, soup, curry, baking, sandwiches, crisps, beer, pubs, alcohol
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jayen_aitch
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by jayen_aitch » Tue Aug 05, 2008 21:51

Most grilling in the UK is done with the door open... I suspect many manuals say this.

islandhopper
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by islandhopper » Tue Aug 05, 2008 23:13

My grill is so convinced by this rule that it won't work with the door closed.
I've never had a filano. I feel slightly ashamed now.

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by lynsosaurus » Tue Aug 05, 2008 23:23

meepmeep wrote: Lynsey, I do have tomato puree or something similar under the toppings on my warm oven sandwiches, so that makes them the same as filanos, I think.
i think what this means is that, as with many things, the swedish people are visionaries.

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by Sootyzilla » Tue Aug 05, 2008 23:37

meepmeep wrote: it's just a toastie made in the oven
I HAVE BEEN SAYING EXACTLY THIS FOR MONTHS!
As wrong as it was to do,
Those eyes were made to look into.

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by a layer of chips » Wed Aug 06, 2008 06:25

YOU DON'T MAKE A FUCKING FILANO IN A FUCKING OVEN.

Go and start your own Focadillo thread. Because what you're talking about are Focadillos. Or Focadilli, I suppose.

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by Uncle Ants » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:14

Sootyzilla wrote:
meepmeep wrote: it's just a toastie made in the oven
I HAVE BEEN SAYING EXACTLY THIS FOR MONTHS!
I think its just a toastie full stop. I'm Filanosceptic.
In Recordeo Speramus

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by a layer of chips » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:16

A toastie, from where I come from, involves two pieces of bread. A filano does not.

There are a few people here who need some filano rehabilitation.

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Mr Bear
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by Mr Bear » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:17

I think we need a filano gallery, for the filanexperts to rank in terms of accuracy and inventiveness.

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by Uncle Ants » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:26

PandaBear wrote:I think we need a filano gallery, for the filanexperts to rank in terms of accuracy and inventiveness.
... and a Venn Diagram :) It was quite useful in the "What is Soup?" question.
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by SophieC » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:33

i'm staggered to learn that all these people leave their grill door open. this is like when i realised i was very much in minority because i stand up to wipe my arse.

the filano has opened my eyes to what a strange man i am. i'm so alone.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by a layer of chips » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:34

I stand up to make my filano. Solidarity.

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by SophieC » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:47

i just had this my inbox. the sender knows who they are. amen brother/sister.
I didn't realise we were in a minority. Sitting down to wipe ones arse is utterly perverse!
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by Uncle Ants » Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:55

JamieC wrote:i'm staggered to learn that all these people leave their grill door open. this is like when i realised i was very much in minority because i stand up to wipe my arse.
are we??

Mind you, if we are talking about people who leave their grill door shut AND stand up to wipe their arse ... that probably would put you in a small minority. More Venn Diagrams required I say.
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by SophieC » Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:46

Uncle Ants wrote:
are we??

Mind you, if we are talking about people who leave their grill door shut AND stand up to wipe their arse ... that probably would put you in a small minority. More Venn Diagrams required I say.
far be it from me to steer the conversation away from the delights of the snack food filano to the gritty horrors of passing a sold, but you did ask. i'm basing this upon an episode of big brother i saw once where a man with mounting horror was furnished with the knowledge his wiping action was very much in the minority amongst the housemates. he, like me, had assumed his to be the default position but was now in the possession of the knowledge that HE WASN'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE.

at a later date i commisioned a Gallup poll of my friendship group which seemed to back up the hypothesis that i was a sickening pervert. it's good to know i'm not the only one out there. i did try a sit down a few times but i found i couldn't get the neccessary purchase required.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by a layer of chips » Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:48

I'm in your camp, Jamie. I don't want a shitty timepiece, thank you very much.

Filanos are nice.

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Uncle Ants
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by Uncle Ants » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:00

JamieC wrote:i'm basing this upon an episode of big brother i saw once where a man with mounting horror was furnished with the knowledge his wiping action was very much in the minority amongst the housemates. he, like me, had assumed his to be the default position but was now in the possession of the knowledge that HE WASN'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE.
But none of the inmates of Big Brother, any of them are LIKE OTHER PEOPLE! They're a bunch of freaks, not a representative sample of humanity.

Anyway. Filano. I'd like a recipe, so I can m ke one and not mistakenly make a fauxlano, a toastie or a Focadillo.
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by SophieC » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:06

Uncle Ants wrote:
JamieC wrote:i'm basing this upon an episode of big brother i saw once where a man with mounting horror was furnished with the knowledge his wiping action was very much in the minority amongst the housemates. he, like me, had assumed his to be the default position but was now in the possession of the knowledge that HE WASN'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE.
But none of the inmates of Big Brother, any of them are LIKE OTHER PEOPLE! They're a bunch of freaks, not a representative sample of humanity.

Anyway. Filano. I'd like a recipe, so I can m ke one and not mistakenly make a fauxlano, a toastie or a Focadillo.
i believe the only written copies of the filano recipe are now worth a willion pounds each. they were contained within the holy artefact of the layer of chips issue #1 placed symbolically betwixt an article on phil wilson and a cat telling a joke. it's like the coca cola 7x recipe or colenel sanders lickin' chicken bucket recipe or uncle ben's rice recipe. it's a closely guarded secret.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Filano of the day

Post by a layer of chips » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:08

Uncle Ants wrote:
JamieC wrote:i'm basing this upon an episode of big brother i saw once where a man with mounting horror was furnished with the knowledge his wiping action was very much in the minority amongst the housemates. he, like me, had assumed his to be the default position but was now in the possession of the knowledge that HE WASN'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE.
But none of the inmates of Big Brother, any of them are LIKE OTHER PEOPLE! They're a bunch of freaks, not a representative sample of humanity.

Anyway. Filano. I'd like a recipe, so I can m ke one and not mistakenly make a fauxlano, a toastie or a Focadillo.
I can do you a cocoa ho-ho recipe, Uncle?

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Uncle Ants
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by Uncle Ants » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:50

JamieC wrote:
i believe the only written copies of the filano recipe are now worth a willion pounds each. they were contained within the holy artefact of the layer of chips issue #1 placed symbolically betwixt an article on phil wilson and a cat telling a joke. it's like the coca cola 7x recipe or colenel sanders lickin' chicken bucket recipe or uncle ben's rice recipe. it's a closely guarded secret.
Are the recipes for Fauxlanoes, Toasties and Focadilloes secret too? I might be able to work it out by a process of elimination :) I might make my own recipe and submit them here claiming they are Filano. From the degree of flak drawn I will know when I warm. By hook or by crook I will discover these secrets.
a layer of chips wrote:
I can do you a cocoa ho-ho recipe, Uncle?
That'd be nice.
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Re: Filano of the day

Post by a layer of chips » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:52

The Cocoa Ho-ho. By knibbles.

With filano teaser at the end.
The Cocoa Ho-ho is very much the hot beverage of the moment. To make the perfect Cocoa Ho-ho you will need:

- A big mug
- Cocoa powder hot chocolate stuff
- Cheap brandy
- Milk
- Squirty cream
- A Flake, to decorate

Heat up the milk. Put a little bit of the milk in with your hot chocolate stuff in your big mug, and make a smooth paste. This will eradicate the possibility of the horror of a lumpy Cocoa Ho-ho.

Once the milk is hot, put it into the big mug with the paste and stir it around a bit.

Pour some brandy into the big mug. I recommend you put a medium-sized amount of brandy in it, but you could use a little bit, or a lot, depending on personal Cocoa Ho-ho preference.

Squirt all the cream on top into a beautiful shape. Sprinkle a bit of cocoa powder on top for extra pizzazz. If you really want to go to town on it and impress the neighbours then stick a flake in it too.

Friends and family will be awestruck and delighted in equal measures when you share with them your mad rinsin’ Cocoa Ho-ho skillz.

ENJOY COCOA HO-HO RESPONSIBLY.

Top tip: Pour your milk into your big mug so you know exactly how much you need, then stick it in a pan. This will ensure the perfect quantity of Cocoa Ho-ho every time.

Correction
Due to a dreadful error, in the last issue it was stated that basil should be used to top your filano. This error arose due to the author never having made a filano in his life. The correct herb is in fact oregano. Obviously.

Lisa Curle

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