Effing Toast!

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mae
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by mae » Sat Jun 21, 2008 15:44

wrapyrtroubles wrote: toast going behind the fridge is extreme! maybe you should move the toaster to somewhere where if the toast jumps out, it will land somewhere more convenient.
heh, if only! this is the extent of my kitchen:

Image

you'll notice there are no work surfaces! i keep my toaster on top of my microwave on top of my fridge. i could move it to the bedroom/living room but i think that would be a little messy.

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Mr Bear
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Mr Bear » Sat Jun 21, 2008 15:44

I like making toast with that multigrain seeded kind of bread, as you'll be crunchy crunching away merrily when suddenly there'll be the pop of a sunflower seed between your teeth. It's a delight.

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wrapyrtroubles
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by wrapyrtroubles » Sat Jun 21, 2008 15:53

oh yes, toasted seeds are awesome, hidden as a treat inside bread even more so. hehe.

oh i would move my toaster to the bedroom and position it so the toast flew straight onto my bed.

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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Woodbine » Sat Jun 21, 2008 15:59

Or into your mouth?
Is evil just something you are, or something you do?

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janglyjan
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by janglyjan » Sat Jun 21, 2008 16:05

I had a mishap trying to make a toasted cheese in the oven. My house smells really bad now...

If only I had a toaster oven this would have never happened.

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Life on Deck
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Life on Deck » Sat Jun 21, 2008 16:18

The bread that I made the other day helped make a mighty mighty sandwichtoastie today. It had olives in it and Swedish cheese. I fucking love Swedish cheese.

When I held the toastie it made my hands look posh.
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wrapyrtroubles
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by wrapyrtroubles » Sat Jun 21, 2008 16:23

Woodbine wrote:Or into your mouth?
yeah that could work, if i could accustom myself to dry toast. maybe i should try schlump's margarine glove approach. or i could keep butter and marmalade on the other pillow.

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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Woodbine » Sat Jun 21, 2008 18:54

Well ideally there could be some sort of margarine gun which was timed to fire a gloop of margarine at the toast just as it popped out of the toaster en route to your mouth.

This is getting silly....
Is evil just something you are, or something you do?

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wrapyrtroubles
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by wrapyrtroubles » Sat Jun 21, 2008 19:04

you're right. toast is a serious business and we shouldn't speak of it so lightly.

i'm feeling kind of hungry. i'm thinking peanut butter.

i just found this cute drawing involving toast. it's by sofia falkenhem, she is my second favourite artist today, after mae who posted above and turns out does beautiful beautiful pictures. http://sofiafalkenhem.blogspot.com/
Attachments
toast.jpg

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Sootyzilla
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Sootyzilla » Sat Jun 21, 2008 19:22

Woodbine wrote:Well ideally there could be some sort of margarine gun which was timed to fire a gloop of margarine at the toast just as it popped out of the toaster en route to your mouth.
The toast could trigger an infra red sensor as it moves through the air, triggering an electronically controlled hand to squeeze the tube of margarine suspended from a string above your bed.
As wrong as it was to do,
Those eyes were made to look into.

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wrapyrtroubles
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by wrapyrtroubles » Sat Jun 21, 2008 19:42

what if something else moved through the air? like a moth or something? then the electronic hand would squeeze margarine onto my bed. disgusting.

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Sootyzilla
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Sootyzilla » Sat Jun 21, 2008 21:13

you'll have so many toast crumbs in your bed that you'll be having to change your linen every day anyway.

this thread title keeps making me think of Matt McGinn's "The Bee From The Old Town of Effen".
As wrong as it was to do,
Those eyes were made to look into.

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jayen_aitch
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by jayen_aitch » Sat Jun 21, 2008 21:30

That little blue fellow is holding a traditional Swedish bun that you get in December. So I had a look at her website and not only is she Swedish, but she was at the same airport as me on Wednesday. Weird stuff.

Maybe you could smear marg on your lips before sleep and then it would go on the toast as you ate it.

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grumpytimes
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by grumpytimes » Sat Jun 21, 2008 22:30

jayen_aitch wrote:Maybe you could smear marg on your lips before sleep and then it would go on the toast as you ate it.
this forum seems to host some of the greatest minds of a generation! tonight i'm going to go to sleep with butter on the top lip and marmite on the bottom one - just got to keep my mouth open all night.

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Sootyzilla
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Sootyzilla » Sat Jun 21, 2008 22:35

i would advise against trying this if you have a cat.
As wrong as it was to do,
Those eyes were made to look into.

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wrapyrtroubles
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by wrapyrtroubles » Sat Jun 21, 2008 23:34

grumpytimes wrote:
jayen_aitch wrote:Maybe you could smear marg on your lips before sleep and then it would go on the toast as you ate it.
this forum seems to host some of the greatest minds of a generation! tonight i'm going to go to sleep with butter on the top lip and marmite on the bottom one - just got to keep my mouth open all night.
before you go to bed, i just wanted to check: you do have have a toast-propelling toaster, set up at the right angle etc to make toast land on your face? don't forget that part or there's no point smearing condiments on your gob.

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Colin
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Colin » Sat Jun 21, 2008 23:35

This topic has drifted into very strange territory...

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wrapyrtroubles
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by wrapyrtroubles » Sat Jun 21, 2008 23:37

what's that got to do with toast!

come on then colin, what's your favourite style of peanut butter? the people need to know.

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Colin
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by Colin » Sat Jun 21, 2008 23:39

Well, crunchy. But that's not so good on toast, particularly if you've got brown bread which I find is more liable to break up under duress.
It's Saturday night and I'm discussing toast on the internet.

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wrapyrtroubles
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Re: Effing Toast!

Post by wrapyrtroubles » Sat Jun 21, 2008 23:44

yes, that's what all the cool kids are doing these days.

fancy a slice of toast?

...

i'd be interested to know if anyone actually *likes* the unsalted peanut butter you can get in health food shops. cos i don't think it's as tasty.


fucking white almond butter though! it's more expensive than gold, weight for weight, but it's unspeakably gorgeous to eat. i got it free once when i was working in the health food shop and one fell off the shelf, breaking the seal on the lid - hehe. in fact i don't think i ever needed to buy nut butters of any description while i worked there cos that happened quite a lot. yum.

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