Pommel my horse!

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squirrelboutique
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Pommel my horse!

Post by squirrelboutique » Fri Oct 05, 2007 15:28

This is the place where we can talk about gymnastics.

a layer of chips
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Post by a layer of chips » Fri Oct 05, 2007 15:36

You cannot beat a good squat thrust.

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squirrelboutique
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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by squirrelboutique » Tue Apr 08, 2008 00:23

I can't believe no one participates in this thread. It's maybe my favorite thread title ever.

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DefenderOfPants
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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by DefenderOfPants » Tue Apr 08, 2008 00:51

did you know i was an alternate for the 1980 u.s. men's olympic team?

alongwalkhome

Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by alongwalkhome » Tue Apr 08, 2008 02:08

I fractured my collarbone in 8th grade by spring boarding clean over the balance beam AND the crash mat and landing on the hardwood floor. Man, did I suck at gym class.

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squirrelboutique
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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by squirrelboutique » Tue Apr 08, 2008 02:17

Y'ouch!

I have to admit I'm a total fraud and had no business starting this thread.

I can't even do a single cartwheel.

alongwalkhome

Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by alongwalkhome » Tue Apr 08, 2008 02:21

I can't even do a forward roll. I would break out in a cold sweat when the gym teacher would announce it was time for the annual gymnastics unit. I was only ever good at field hockey, badminton, and wrestling.

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squirrelboutique
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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by squirrelboutique » Tue Apr 08, 2008 02:31

You got to wrestle?

Here's something I shouldn't admit to. I peed myself once waiting for my turn on the balance beam. And I was wearing tights.

Also, before any of you make fun of me, at the time I was five years old and wearing an eye patch to correct a lazy eye. If you want to make fun of someone who was such an easy target, go right ahead.

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cuppie
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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by cuppie » Tue Apr 08, 2008 02:40

alongwalkhome wrote: I would break out in a cold sweat when the gym teacher would announce it was time for the annual gymnastics unit.
oh god, me too. i can still feel the panic. i just about managed a forward roll at the end of the gymnastics unit in 8th grade, but it was pure pain. i always liked volleyball and tennis. a sport just ain't a sport unless you're whacking at something, preferably a ball.

i do like watching gymnastics though, like when little kerry whatsherface did her olympics with one bum ankle. and remember those freaky corn-fed white boy twins from one or two olympics back? they were the stuff.

alongwalkhome

Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by alongwalkhome » Tue Apr 08, 2008 03:02

Rachel, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Wasn't it hard to balance w/only seeing through one eye?!?

Yes, we totally got to wrestle. It was awesome. My talent--believe it or not--was speed. That paired with a low center of gravity and I had a pretty awesome record. The key was to take the girl's legs (yes, only same sex wrestling--boo!!) out from under her the second the whistle blew; before she knew what hit her. I take this same approach with sex.

alongwalkhome

Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by alongwalkhome » Tue Apr 08, 2008 03:07

cuppie wrote:
alongwalkhome wrote: i do like watching gymnastics though, like when little kerry whatsherface did her olympics with one bum ankle.
I'm a sucker for that shit. When Mary Lou Retton nailed that pommel jump thingy with a 10.0 and took her unnecessary second turn just to nail it again, we went mental. I was in this summer cottage place we used to rent on Cape Code and the whole neighborhood was cheering.

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squirrelboutique
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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by squirrelboutique » Tue Apr 08, 2008 03:10

alongwalkhome wrote:Rachel, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Wasn't it hard to balance w/only seeing through one eye?!?

Yes, we totally got to wrestle. It was awesome. My talent--believe it or not--was speed. That paired with a low center of gravity and I had a pretty awesome record. The key was to take the girl's legs (yes, only same sex wrestling--boo!!) out from under her the second the whistle blew; before she knew what hit her. I take this same approach with sex.
It's the saddest thing ever!

My mom (the opthalmic technician) finally mentioned to me last year that my one not so good eye is responsible for my falling down and bumping into things a lot. She says it affects my depth perception.

Wrestling! That's unbelievable! When we weren't screwing around on balance beams we were doing those stupid races with chalkboard erasers.

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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by lynsosaurus » Tue Apr 08, 2008 09:54

add me to the list of people terrified of gymnastics. i was halfway decent at netball and hockey and stuff, but i came up with all sorts of shit excuses to get out of gymnastics classes. the only bit i remember liking was one where we jumped on a little trampoline and vaulted over something. the worst bits were the rolls; i would start off brave and then once i got halfway through the roll and my head was under my body, i would panic and freeze and the teacher would have to come over and get me out of it. nobody wants to be stuck in a room of six-year-olds with their ass in the air.

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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by SophieC » Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:15

lynsosaurus wrote:nobody wants to be stuck in a room of six-year-olds with their ass in the air.
au contraire lynsey. au contraire.

we had to do flippin' gymnastics and all. then like now i have the upper body strength of polio ridden POW and all attempts at climbing a rope ended with me still firmly planted to the floor. i remember on one occasion we all had to pommel the horse in front of the class. d*n**l g*db*r attempted it, landed on the floor, where upon his penis spilt out of his shorts in front of the class. he was well chuffed. he's a homeless smackhead now as well SO NO HAPPY ENDING THERE.

worse than gymnastics was bloody dance. there must have been a hippy in the PE department somewhere because i remember once we had to spend a lesson doing an interpretive fucking dance of using the underground. i believe i played a mugger as did every other lad, resulting in an approximate 50/50 mugger / passenger split. pretty much what it is on the actual underground. ho! anyway that wasn't the worse occasion. the worst was the other tutor group was invited in to watch us all do the FUCKING CAN CAN. i had to stand in a line as an akward shy 12 year old who blushed when he looked at a bra in a shop window and fucking act like an 1890s high kicking racy french trollop chorus girl. i think my feet managed to lift about 9mm from the ground.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by a layer of chips » Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:21

Did anyone else have to do the BAGA (or something) certificates in gym? We did. I could only do a forwards and backwards roll. So i got certificate 4. I never did make the step up to a cartwheel. Which is probably for the best.

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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by SophieC » Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:23

a layer of chips wrote:Did anyone else have to do the BAGA (or something) certificates in gym? We did. I could only do a forwards and backwards roll. So i got certificate 4. I never did make the step up to a cartwheel. Which is probably for the best.
that's level 4? jesus. what's level 1? standing fairly still for a bit?
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by a layer of chips » Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:26

Level 1 is the highest one you daft twat.

It involved joining a Soviet circus for the half term after Easter and completing a six week stint in a cold tent in Skegness.

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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by SophieC » Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:34

a layer of chips wrote:Level 1 is the highest one you daft twat.

It involved joining a Soviet circus for the half term after Easter and completing a six week stint in a cold tent in Skegness.
can't gymnasts count then? i suppose that's why all their marks are out of 6.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by islandhopper » Tue Apr 08, 2008 13:31

I elicited quite an impressive scream from one of the girls in my PE class when I fell with an almighty thump off the vault one day.

One of my proudest moments.

alongwalkhome

Re: Pommel my horse!

Post by alongwalkhome » Tue Apr 08, 2008 14:19

JamieC wrote: watch us all do the FUCKING CAN CAN
OH, do I ever know what I'm asking for the next time I'm in the presence of drunk Jamie.

We only ever had to square dance, which the boys interpreted as "fling your partner into the wall taking full advantage of the centrifugal force provided by 'Swing Your Partner'"

An epilogue to my springboard/collar bone breaking incident: My mother asked the gym teacher why the mat wasn't close enough to the balance beam; to which the teacher replied, "It's more than close enough. Your daughter was just over-zealous." It was a lesson in political correctness, as we all three knew she wanted to just say, "Your kid is a spaz."

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