Squirrels are Shifty

cat, geckos, bears, primates etc.
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JohaN
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Squirrels are Shifty

Post by JohaN » Thu Nov 29, 2007 13:40

For the sake of balance, a thread about protecting oneself against squirrels.

here are places in your house to barricade to protect oneself from them

Image

and this is why you should


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squirrelboutique
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Post by squirrelboutique » Thu Nov 29, 2007 15:48

Now wait a dern minute here. Everyone knows the only shifty squirrel is a Tufted Fucking Squirrel.

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Post by humblebee » Thu Nov 29, 2007 15:55

Is it red ones or grey ones that are evil? I never know which ones I should be slaughtering.

linus

Post by linus » Thu Nov 29, 2007 21:09

you don't have to slaughter grey squirrels but nutters who like to kill animals and harbour wrong thoughts about small kids often insist you should

they say, 'that pete, that pete, kill the greys, kill the greys' from beneath your window sill and insist the reds are under threat from those greys being full of disease, coming over here and getting AIDs treatment on the NHS and having houses full of wide screen tv's and sky plus and fridges and being giving coupons to buy acorns by the government and pretty soon you won't be able to walk around knightsbridge without being jostled by grey squirrels in burkas and they claim to be an indigineous (spelling?) species but do they support the red squirrels in the cricket? do they buffalo!

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by bend sinister » Wed Apr 09, 2008 21:37

this looks a bit like someone finds them shifty, or maybe just another 'Daily Mail outrage'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... ge_id=1770" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
blank.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by SophieC » Wed Apr 09, 2008 21:55

bend sinister wrote:this looks a bit like someone finds them shifty, or maybe just another 'Daily Mail outrage'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... ge_id=1770" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
he group - whose songs include Disney's Dream Debased and DIY Meat - have released 95 albums since forming in 1976.
they're just making things up! they haven't released 95 albums the mongs. did they just pick those songs at random then? i've never heard of them.
Franz Ferdinand, The Smiths, Nirvana and the Happy Mondays have all named The Fall as inspiration.
no they never!
Last night a music industry source said: "I don't know what would be worse for Mark E Smith's image - being found guilty of killing squirrels, or the RSPCA finding out he made up the claims."
yeah because a man who's sniffed glue for 46 years, talks like a fridge with a tracheotomy, has a face like mummified scrotum and finds all his clothes in bins outside delousing units really cares about his image.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by Woodbine » Wed Apr 09, 2008 22:59

Surely he was just talking rubbish to the reporter? I mean he's not exactly known for his insightful attitude to interviews is he? Shock horror, the Fall aren't popular with Daily Mail readers.

I reckon squirrels are quite good. Although I draw the line at letting them eat out of my hand like the weirdos in St James's Park do.
Is evil just something you are, or something you do?

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by bend sinister » Wed Apr 09, 2008 23:47

JamieC wrote:yeah because a man who's sniffed glue for 46 years, talks like a fridge with a tracheotomy, has a face like mummified scrotum and finds all his clothes in bins outside delousing units really cares about his image.

[/making things up]

anyways, squirrels aren't all that shifty, are they?
blank.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by madcat » Thu Apr 10, 2008 03:27

I reckon these squirrels are rather terrifyingly shifty.
Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

Local people suggest hunger is driving squirrels to extremes
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources,

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by quaycur » Thu Apr 10, 2008 04:23

Whoa. I had a horrible dream about squirrels the other night. Black squirrels were swarming all over my legs, and I had to pick up a rock and smash them.

Does this mean I'm becoming Mark E. Smith?
boys have a godstick, girls have a shamecave

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by DefenderOfPants » Thu Apr 10, 2008 05:15

whoa. i've never seen a black squirrel before. they look kind of scary.

i used to have a pretty good relationship with squirrels. i'd feed them cheerios when they came to the door. cheerios and bits of bread.
then one day i accidentally hit a squirrel with my car. and i guess word got around because after that i didn't see them anymore.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by a layer of chips » Thu Apr 10, 2008 06:53

bend sinister wrote:this looks a bit like someone finds them shifty, or maybe just another 'Daily Mail outrage'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... ge_id=1770" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
What a man.

Jamie - they have released 95 albums.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by Gordon » Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:30

JamieC wrote:
he group - whose songs include Disney's Dream Debased and DIY Meat - have released 95 albums since forming in 1976.
they're just making things up! they haven't released 95 albums the mongs. did they just pick those songs at random then? i've never heard of them.
According to wackypedia and some creative maths, it's between 94 and 96 albums.
Toot toot.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by SophieC » Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:22

a layer of chips wrote:
bend sinister wrote:this looks a bit like someone finds them shifty, or maybe just another 'Daily Mail outrage'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... ge_id=1770" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
What a man.

Jamie - they have released 95 albums.
what? studio albums? i've done equations in my head and that's one album every sixteen minutes. that can't be right.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by a layer of chips » Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:25

No, not studio albums.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by SophieC » Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:53

look sam:

Image

they watch you and rummage through your pants when you go to work.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by Jeezy Creezy » Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:01

A squirrel patroles the area outside my aunt's house in LA preventing me from sitting on the porch with a book as it is apt to hover on the fence above my head and LOOK at me. There's Blair Witch style video footage of glimpses of squirrell amidst trees and the camera person (me)running and screaming hysterically.
Sarcasm was the lowest form of wit. Now there's you.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by Gordon » Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:05

JamieC wrote:look sam:

Image

they watch you and rummage through your pants when you go to work.
I have a similar memory of mad squirrels in Kingston, Ontario. My friend told me of a mad squirrel jumping on to her screen window cover in the middle of the night, waking her up with a loud thud, and because it was backlit by a street-lamp through her window blinds, the first thing she saw was the image of a massive squirrel shadow, a sort of inverse bat-signal.
Toot toot.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by jayen_aitch » Thu Apr 10, 2008 13:04

I know I'm meant to hate those grey ones... but its impossible when you look at their little, all-seeing faces.

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Re: Squirrels are Shifty

Post by gloom button » Thu Apr 10, 2008 14:53

I feel the same way about god.
the trouble with personalities, they're too wrapped up in style
it's too personal; they're in love with their own guile

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