questions about feet

we don't know but perhaps a fellow anorak will - ask them here
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hayleygerms
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Re: questions about feet

Post by hayleygerms » Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:01 pm

I'm ok with being a squiffy legged bugger, I think. I'm going to get some foot t-shirts printed and wear them throughout May. I'll look like a right mental with my squiffy legs and foot t-shirts, won't I? I'm going to accessorise with the mental's headgear of choice, the Bobble Hat. Mad Legged Snorks, they'll call me. I can't wait.

Also, dorsiflexion is my new favourite word. It rolls off the tongue beautifully. That makes me sound like I lick feet. I don't lick feet. Not since the verruca-tongue catastrophe of '96, anyway. What a year that was!
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Woodbine
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Re: questions about feet

Post by Woodbine » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:03 am

alongwalkhome wrote:All of me is tight--in fact I'm using a microwavable "Bed Buddy" on my shoulders right now at work.
Crikey, I didn't realise you yanks were so liberal you could get away with using dildos in the office. Or that alongwalkhome had such erogenous shoulders.

Anyway, Knibbles, I too have a question about feet. So often in life, when we fear we may not do our best at something, particularly something of which we might be fearful or which may be difficult to achieve, we are told to put our 'best foot forward'. But, which is the best foot? If you only have one foot, of course, the decision is made for you.It's easy! But what of us bipods? Endless failures need never have happened to us if we'd only known which our best foot was. Does it vary from person to person? Is it merely an old wives tale and have clinical studies in fact shown that the foot we opt to lead with has absolutely no bearing on the outcome of our lives? I MUST KNOW AND I WILL NEVER WALK AGAIN UNTIL I DO.
Is evil just something you are, or something you do?

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knibbles
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Re: questions about feet

Post by knibbles » Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:07 am

Woodbine wrote:
alongwalkhome wrote:All of me is tight--in fact I'm using a microwavable "Bed Buddy" on my shoulders right now at work.
Crikey, I didn't realise you yanks were so liberal you could get away with using dildos in the office. Or that alongwalkhome had such erogenous shoulders.

Anyway, Knibbles, I too have a question about feet. So often in life, when we fear we may not do our best at something, particularly something of which we might be fearful or which may be difficult to achieve, we are told to put our 'best foot forward'. But, which is the best foot? If you only have one foot, of course, the decision is made for you.It's easy! But what of us bipods? Endless failures need never have happened to us if we'd only known which our best foot was. Does it vary from person to person? Is it merely an old wives tale and have clinical studies in fact shown that the foot we opt to lead with has absolutely no bearing on the outcome of our lives? I MUST KNOW AND I WILL NEVER WALK AGAIN UNTIL I DO.
I think you've answered your own question there. The one legged amongst us do indeed have a much easier time of it when it comes to this sort of thing. Amputation does appear to be your best option. I'd recommend a below knee amputation as the prosthesis are a lot more comfortable if you have a knee joint present. Being one footed, you'll also likely qualify for free bus travel, which since yeterday has been expanded to cover throughout the country so it all works out for the best, really. I hear the 555 bus route from Lancaster to Carlisle is particularly breathtaking.


Longwalkhomer! What I will do, I will draw some pictures of the stretches you need to do to sort yourself out, and I'll post them later. As for the cramp, if it is actual proper cramp and not just arch pain, then nope, it's not linked to everything else. It usually happens as you, erm, as you, sort of, erm, get older, and also if you drink more than your recommended 14 units a week and if you smoke. I'd recommend a glass of tonic water each day, as the quinine in it sorts out cramps. If you get the cramp when you're in bed have your tonic water just before you go to bed. I'd also recommend the consumption of bananas as sometimes a lack of potassium can contribute towards cramps.

Linus! I know nothing about reflexology, alas, but some people do indeed swear by it. I think if you're interested in alternative therapy, acupuncture is probably the most effective one to go for. There is an increasing body of evidence to support it. We use acupuncture for diabetic neuropathy and stuff.
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kingofpartick
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Re: questions about feet

Post by kingofpartick » Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:15 am

squirrelboutique wrote:Is it possible that Lynsey's foot trouble could be related to the inordinate amount of time she spends biting large nuts?
Image
I remember when all this was fields

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knibbles
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Re: questions about feet

Post by knibbles » Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:40 am

Here's all you need to know in a cut out and keep handy information picture, Longwalkhome;
Marcystretch.jpg
Marcystretch.jpg (56.72 KiB) Viewed 7511 times
Now, the only thing is, you will not notice any improvement for at least 4 weeks, probably more like 6. Lots of people do it for a couple of weeks then give up because they don't think it's working, but it will work if you stick with it.

As for pretty shoes, as long as they are deep and wide enough, you should be able to buy whichever shoes you fancy and put your arch supports in them. You might find that they start working once you've done all your stretching.

So yeah, you need to find a book to use that is just the right height. You need to find one where when you do your stretch you can feel it up the back of your leg but it doesn't actually hurt. You might need to start quite low if your gastrox is really tight, then as it loosens you might need to use thicker and thicker books. Good luck!
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squirrelboutique
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Re: questions about feet

Post by squirrelboutique » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:47 pm

That's the handiest sheep I ever did see in that drawing there. I'd like a sheep to help me with my feet.

roobee
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Re: questions about feet

Post by roobee » Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:01 pm

I wish I had a foot problem so I could get a cut out and keep handy information picture. That's the best thing I've seen today. And today I saw cows roaming on the motorway.

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hayleygerms
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Re: questions about feet

Post by hayleygerms » Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:51 pm

I hope Knibbles gives all her patients such beautiful diagrams to help with their feet. Also, I thought the animal was a hamster rather than a sheep. Sheepses are woolier than that.
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squirrelboutique
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Re: questions about feet

Post by squirrelboutique » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:37 pm

It's really hard to draw wool in MSPaint. Stop making fun of Knibbles's ability to draw animal coverings.

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knibbles
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Re: questions about feet

Post by knibbles » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:40 pm

Actually, it's a fat ferret.

It's well hard drawing things without a mouse and just with a lap top scrolly thing. That's why it doesn't look as much like a fat ferret as it should.
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squirrelboutique
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Re: questions about feet

Post by squirrelboutique » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:45 pm

I think you're onto something with this foot advice ferret.

He or She needs a clever name.

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hayleygerms
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Re: questions about feet

Post by hayleygerms » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:53 pm

I think he should be called Phalange the Ferret. Because a Phalange is a bit of foot, it's kind of alliterative and most of all it sounds a bit like flange.
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squirrelboutique
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Re: questions about feet

Post by squirrelboutique » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:56 pm

I'm for Phalange.

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knibbles
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Re: questions about feet

Post by knibbles » Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:00 pm

Motion carried.

Poor ferret. Fancy being called Phalange.
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squirrelboutique
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Re: questions about feet

Post by squirrelboutique » Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:13 pm

Should we begin future queries in this thread with "Dear Phalange"?

linus

Re: questions about feet

Post by linus » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:46 pm

I'm going at my feet with a stanley knife and a hammer just so I can get a good seeing to by phalange the phoot phixing pherret who probably listens to phish the phucking hippie

can I raise a sensitive foot problem on behalf of a friend?

hard skin on your heels, or rather this friend's heels, how should this friend best treat this most cheesey of afflictions? is it a do it this friend's self home project or should they see somebody in a parlour with the necessary implements and the required certification?

alongwalkhome

Re: questions about feet

Post by alongwalkhome » Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:56 pm

knibbles wrote:Here's all you need to know in a cut out and keep handy information picture, Longwalkhome;
Marcystretch.jpg
OH, Doctor Knibbles, how can I ever thank you enough?!? This is WAY above and beyond the call of duty and you are a superstar. I should offer to kiss your feet because that would be appropriate but you are too far away!!

I will take great pleasure in stepping on the horrible business books I have to edit! And I am running out to by a Trainer Sheep RIGHT NOW!!!

*mwah mwah* (<---maybe a little tongue slip too)

You are the bomb diggity shit and I will keep you posted on my progress.

p.s.--I am sorry about my oppressive carpet. It represents my (gastrocnemius) pain. I will replace it with a much more enlightened color now that I have your pearls of foot wisdom!

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squirrelboutique
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Re: questions about feet

Post by squirrelboutique » Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:00 pm

Linus! Get you (your friend) a pumice stone.

I use one and it's nice for having soft feet bottoms.

I should point out I am neither a pherret nor a phoot expert.

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hayleygerms
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Re: questions about feet

Post by hayleygerms » Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:32 pm

Linus! Does your, um, friend get cracked heels too? If so he should get himself some of that Cracked Heel Balm. It's really good even though the urea in it makes your feet smell a bit like wee. It's good for softening hard feet skin.
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squirrelboutique
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Re: questions about feet

Post by squirrelboutique » Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:40 pm

I just spent five minutes being extra-impressed by the perspective in that drawing there.

It's like I'm right there in the room with Marcy and Phalange.

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