Celebrity Sex Tapes

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this clump of trees
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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by this clump of trees » Sun Aug 18, 2013 20:43

ketameaningless wrote:and it's for charity too

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Tue Nov 19, 2013 17:26

actually it was for the poorly ill and disabled rather than the poor, but don't feel bad, i'm a misanthrope too. to day i want to talk about

12 DAYS OF CELEBRITY SEXMAS! day one. 12 schoolkids hustling

so I have written 11 albums of material this year. for 11 random days leading up to december 22nd, i'm gonna make em available for you to listen if you like. there will also be fantastical giveaways and shit at some point. (the day of five gooooolden rings has been especially designed for anorak readers)
but today
BIG FAT FESTIVAL HITZ.
all this leads up to the dramatic and exciting XMAS ECSTASY DEATH CLUB at the castle on december 22nd, featuring celebrity sex tapes, ten mouth electron and a rare solo appearance from hop man jr of rapid pig. the whole show is currently in doubt due to equipment malfunctions, heroin problems and mysterious figures with big shooters, but let's assume it's going ahead for now. enjoy : )
https://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/ ... tival-hitz
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Fri Nov 22, 2013 16:26

day two
11 anorexics burning

http://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/album/fashion

two more next week. indiepop fans try 'heroinsexual'
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:49

DAYS OF CELEBRITY SEXXMAS! day three is a bonanza double drop day. first off, it's 10 T SHIRTS SHIFTING...MERCH! https://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/album/merch

and for seconds, it's the indiepop/happyhardcore symphony, PORN!
https://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/album/porn

enjoy
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Fri Nov 29, 2013 08:12

YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Mon Dec 02, 2013 06:00

7 customers buying...ADVERTISING http://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/album/advertising features a song written when i was 14

i know a lot of this stuff isnt indiepop but hold on for this weekend, when you can have amongst other attractions, a free indiepop drum n bass version of 'heal the world' by michael jackson
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Wed Dec 04, 2013 13:42

6 soldiers shooting themselves in the back in the head http://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/album/propaganda
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Fri Dec 06, 2013 10:04

YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:57

4 skanks a spiking! http://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/album/fm-mf

some of this will sound familiar
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Mon Dec 16, 2013 12:17

12 DAYS OF CELEBRITY SEXXXMAS 3 the xmas wee http://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/a ... locks-2013

only one to go. if the mods would like to move my thread to 'not indiepop' do go right ahead. there is still the odd flash of indiepop though, so it's up to you
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Tue Dec 17, 2013 16:31

http://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/a ... ex-tapes-2 AND STICK TWO WORLD CUPS AND A FUCKING PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE UP YOUR ENGLISH CUNT YOU FUCKING attractive POPCORNMUNCHING MI5YEAR OLD WINDOWLICKING DICKSUCK MIDGET POTATO INDIE POPULIST SEXXXTAP£$ HATERZ
the gig's at the castle on sunday, that's on oldham street. appearing will be ten mouth electron and hop man jr. i might come, i might not . happy xmas
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by RITH » Tue Dec 17, 2013 22:33

ketameaningless wrote:AND STICK TWO WORLD CUPS AND A FUCKING PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE UP YOUR ENGLISH CUNT YOU FUCKING attractive POPCORNMUNCHING MI5YEAR OLD WINDOWLICKING DICKSUCK MIDGET POTATO INDIE POPULIST SEXXXTAP£$ HATERZ
You really know how to sell your music.

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Tue Jul 15, 2014 11:45

it's funny you should say that actually rith.
i was getting a lot of gyp in the town where i live now. i have got nothing against anorak or any genre or anything

anyway, hopefully coming later today, some new free celeb sex tapes!

: )
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Wed Jul 16, 2014 16:39

as promised! some indiepop and some hip hop stylings. play it backwards if you like

http://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/a ... r-in-space
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

ketameaningless
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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Wed Jul 30, 2014 21:04

https://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/ ... ndmentsnew sextapes.
this one goes out to the sound engineers and computer hackers around the world.holla @ ya
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Tue Dec 23, 2014 23:34

only wrote one new dope track all year


here it is

https://celebritysextapes.bandcamp.com/album/hello-2015

happy earthling christmas, indie fans!
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Wed Dec 24, 2014 00:42

i spent the rest of the year trying to find anything wrong with someone else's dope track, specifically this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM3389FUnKo

i quibble with the lovely chorus ever so slightly. should have sung 'but there's nothing to be ASHAMED of' rather than 'afraid of' at least once. it would have made the song ever so slightly more dope. i can just see simon cowell thinking 'well, the tiniest hint of shameful sexual subtext in the word 'ashamed' ISN'T the most fascistically evil and conservative thing to do to sell this song about car theft and pre-teen forbidden joyriding and smoking in slut clothes and that doesn't sound like the most satan money to me, so i'm not making an exception, even thogh the song would actually be more dope with that in, just on the tiniest chance any radio programmer finds their attention attracted by the one least offensive word and starts panicking'

that's why he's the boss i guess. makes those tough calls.
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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Re: Celebrity Sex Tapes

Post by ketameaningless » Thu Dec 25, 2014 23:50

THE SEXTAPES XMAS SPEECH (Full Text)
Hey kiddies.
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth remarked today on telly that ‘sometimes it seems reconciliation stands little chance in the face of war and discord’.
I didn’t watch her speech as I was having a bit of a kip on me sister’s sofa, dreaming of the cash profit I may make from selling the stolen telly I got for Christmas to a Cash Generators, or perhaps a Cash Converters or Ebay, and I would be surprised if she bothers reading much into my bollocks either. Eureeka and I do agree with her though.
On other, more realistic days such as Belle And Sebastian Indiepop Superdisco Fannylicking Party Day or your Mam’s birthday, reconciiation and discord stand no fucking chance whatsoever in the face of total, permanent and absolute war, but this is Jesus Christ’s special day and we recognise that.
The other 364 days of the year however, total war on Earth and in Heaven is so total it has become pretty peaceful, as wars go. Very often small skirmishes within the war may be presented as wars in their own right by the naïve, ambitious, impatient, greedy and stupid, based on ancient history, conflicting agenders or the curious similarity of yesterday’s bollocks to tommorow’s probable bollocks. The theoretically possible bollocks of the far distant future can kiss my arse.
Some other queen I knew a long time ago once remarked on their Myspace page that they would smoke ignorance if they coud. Ignorance is useful and manipulable. Ignorance is a weapon.
When, as happens every few years in total war, ignorance is incredibly but finally no use as a weapon and has instead become a commodity, the smallest number of inconsequential people possible often insist on dying for the cause of ignorance as a weapon. More intelligent people who have no wish to disturb large and permanent wars with yesteryear’s bollocks quietly get on with selling ignorance or trying to weaponise it. Continued ignorance in the face of expensive new types of ignorance is not only ignorant but downright fucking stupid and dangerous. Sadly, as Blade said ‘some motherfuckers is aways trying to ice skate uphill’. Some things will never change.Others are destroyed totally. Plough Lane football stadium for example. In this inevitable and manipulable process, it is easily forgotten that ‘ignorance’ like ‘right’ has two opposites, namely common-sense politeness and any other manner of response.
While having a piss up the side of me sister’s gaffe earlier today I reflected that if Hitler had conquered Russia, nothing much would have changed on the future Earth. Most probably the Moscow Wall would have fallen in 1990, making it necessary for Chris Waddle to singe-handedly win the World Cup for England. America would have won an ever so slightly more competitive space –race and while The Stone Roses may have become bigger than The Beatles, the Brick Lane nail bombings, 9/11 and 7/7 would have been largely unnafected. In some games, certain points are reached no matter what paths are taken. Remember, we hope, pray and fucking dream it may be so with the path to Permanent Britpop and Total Sextapes.
As a final absolute-last chance saloon solution to a relatively inconsequential problem, there is always the possibility of going fucking mental, admitting one is wrong and even apologising. The Crazy Gang are gone now and instead Britain has Milton Keynes Dons. Other national institutions, like Broadmoor or Morrissey, are still going hard. The Police are sadly inactive after a stadium tour in the mid- 2000’s but Hillsborough football stadium still stands. Most people are largely agreed the disaster was Thatcher’s fault, but she’s dead now, so fuck her. The causal links between The Reichstag Fire and Graham Taylor’s reign of England management are scientifically not proven but possible. Same shit, slightly different shade, as a number of old aquaintances often remarked to me during oddly repetitive days of long ago when time stood still.
On Christmas Eve I saw an old face, hugging somebody of whom all I discerned was their arse and spine. I once pissed in the same cathedra and have stolen money from it three times at least, on top of tongueing a mysterious woman whom I hope to fuck in the cathedral. She forced me into whoring against my wil in my Mam’s back bedroom and I never saw her again. We did what we did and we are not sorry. The fucking bollocks of the past and present are inconsequential on a world scale but it is good to remember, to fuck and to dream from time to time.
At this time of year, Eureeka and I remember sadly Smarties Ramone The Friendly Rock And Roll Hamster. She was accidentally smothered to death while I was smuggling her through the bus station in a hamster death trap made of a bag of cookies only one year ago.. Sometimes in total war, a motherfucker is so determined to pursue their addictions, ambitions or agendas even those who love them most cannot save them and sadly the girl was so determined to eat the cookies she sacrificed her oxygen pocket despite my specific warnings. Even I couldn’t have saved her.
Everyone fucking loves it and she died doing what she loved, eating my fucking cookies. Her contributions to early Sextapes had been so, so fucking dope I worried she would be irreplacable. If anything though, this year Eureeka added a vibe so dope it was somehow more commercial but even harder. Sextapes are relentless and unstoppable. The inconceivable simulataneous commerciality and unstoppability of hard Sextapes reality is beyond even our own control by now.
If it looks like Sextapes and smells like Sextapes, it is probably Sextapes and that is all we know. Don’t touch it. If you touch it, it’s fucked. Don’t fuck with it. Remember never to fuck with it, not even in your fucking dreams. Like the telly, or the war, or my ex-girlfriend’s face, you don’t have to like it and you don’t have to look at it, but it isn’t getting any prettier and if you can’t ignore it or sell it, and it isn’t on the internet for free, fuck it.
Total Sextapes. Permanent Britpop . Total Sextapes. Permanent Britpop . More front, cunt. More front, cunt. Now just the people down the front. More front, cunt. If we aren’t demolishing stadiums by this time next year, some other bollocks, probaby based on some other motherfucker’s motherfucking shit will be happening instead. Eventually we will all die.
Yidda Ho and a Happy Fucking Christmas to U2, Your Honour. Wish I was beautiful like you.
Sextapes
YEAH NOW I'M GONNA FUCK THA LOCH NESS MONSTA!

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